Many of anxiety gurus are convinced that no matter how much you learn about compassionate self-talk, expectations, and scary, obsessive thoughts, you won't be in control of your anxiety until you change your diet.
"When you change, the world around you changes." —Niurka
Though virtually everyone experiences stress, sometimes the way we react to stress and add to the amounts is with self sabotage! Most of the ways that we self sabotage are unconscious. The characteristics that come into play are those that Carl Jung referred to when he spoke of our 'shadow' - the enemy inside your head in the form negative self talk.
Take Action:
Start by paying attention to the styles of self sabotage you favour. Once you become aware of these otherwise unconscious thoughts, you have the opportunity to challenge them.
Blaming
This method of self sabotage is pretty self explanatory. You believe that your circumstances are not your fault. Whilst it's possible that there is some degree of truth in this, blaming leaves you feeling powerless. Blaming often goes hand in hand with a 'victim' mentality which is equally disempowering. Ultimately, you are the only person who has the ability to change your situation. When you begin to take responsibility, you feel better about yourself and more in control of your life.
Likely self talk: 'I can't help it'; 'It's their fault'; 'Things are just really hard for me'.
Procrastination
How many times do you repeatedly put off an unpleasant task? The most common are doing your tax, tidying your desk/wardrobe/garage, getting your finances in order, starting an exercise program or a healthy eating regime. Procrastination is a very popular method of self sabotage.
Likely self talk: 'I don't have the time'; 'I'm too tired'; 'The time isn't right'.
Over Committing/Overwhelm
Many people over commit themselves. They say yes to everything and then find themselves feeling completely overwhelmed (and quite often resentful). This method of self sabotage often helps you to avoid your 'real' goals (the ones that would bring you the most fulfilment if you were brave enough to pursue them) by distracting you with a range of incidental activities.
Likely self talk: 'They need me - I can't say no'; 'I'm the only one who will do the job well'; 'I just like to stay busy'.
Lack of Self Belief
This is quite possibly the most popular method of all. Like all others, it is also a self fulfilling prophecy. The less you believe in yourself, the less likely you are to take on new challenges and the more likely you are to believe you are unworthy of great things.
Likely self talk: 'I'm not good enough'; 'No one will want me'; 'I'm too tall; too short; too heavy; too unattractive; not interesting or not smart enough'.
Unclear Goals/Lack of Direction
This is a difficult area to tackle as it generally presents as an overall sense of confusion. Not being clear about what you want in life is often connected to not wanting to make the wrong choices.
Likely self talk: 'I don't know what I want'; 'Nothing interests me'; 'What if I get it wrong?'.
With all of the above methods of self sabotage, the first step is to notice your dominant style. Most of us use more than one so begin by just becoming aware of your self talk.
When you feel ready to challenge your thinking, find a way to reframe your original thought, for example 'I'm not good enough' could become 'I'm as good as I need to be to give this a go'.
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Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them. Epictetus
Almost every minute of your conscious life you are engaging in self-talk, your internal thought language. If the self-talk is accurate and in touch with reality, you function well. If it is irrational and untrue, you experience stress and emotional disturbance.
Albert Ellis developed a system to attack irrational ideas or believes and replace them with realistic statements. The basic thesis is that emotions have nothing to do with actual events. Between the emotion and the event is realistic or unrealistic self-talk. The self-talk produces the emotions. Your own thoughts, directed and controlled by you, are what creates anxiety, fear depression, damages health and affect performance.
What this means: we people have a choice to think in the negative or positive way. It’s up to everybody to choose one or another option. To make choices is an active process in which our will is involved. You have to be willing to change something if you consider that something is wrong with our life.
Take Action:
- Develop “I can” attitude instead of “I cannot”.
- Admit into our mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success.
- Expect of good and favourable results.
- Focus on our strengths. Use them as a lever for success.
- Look for new opportunities also in stressful situations, and seek out for positive to make changes.
- Spend less time thinking negatively and predicting the negative outcome and more what can be done about and in the situation.
- Try not to be a perfectionist; be merciful and thankful about self.
- Forgive yourself and others.
- Take things less seriously and learn to laugh, and develop a sense of humour.
- Try some reframing about the negative situations; the outcome can be really surprising. (The key to reframing is to recognize that there are many ways to interpret the same situation, not only negative but also in many times – positive.)
- Stop rushing for noticing beauty around.
- Concede some time to enjoy own success, and be less demanding.
- Remind yourself, time to time, that you are not the general manager of universe, and it’s not your responsibility to responsible for all things and people around.
- Start practicing positive affirmations.
- Use visualization, because you need to ‘see’ positive things already happening and they will.
In order to turn the mind toward the positive, knowledge and training are necessary.
Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight. It does not matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they do.
Want to shorten the learning curve ?
Contact me at info@action4balance.com
All of us have had our own share of anxious times. Be it a feeling of having butterflies in stomach before making an important presentation or increase in the heart rate before a difficult examination, there are numerous such instances in our everyday lives.
Some level of anxiety is healthy and it helps to provide a person with required motivation to accomplish a task. But, there are times when it becomes so severe that it begins to interrupt one's daily life. Anxiety disorder may manifest in different forms and is generally characterized by an overwhelming feeling of worry and fear.
How the human heart is affected by anxiety
I am sure that you have heard about the important connection between mental and physical health. But do you fully understand the relationship your organs have with your state of mind? Research is showing how physiological reactions to stress and anxiety can take a huge toll on our hearts.
When we experience symptoms of anxiety, what we feel is the body’s preparation to face danger. Elevated heart rate, high blood pressure and the release of stress hormones into the blood are normal reactions that occur in our bodies when faced with stressful situations and anxiety.
Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety can have a negative impact on the heart, including palpitations, tremors and insomnia. Whatever the cause for anxiety may be, there are steps we can take to improve our quality of life.
Take Action:
Relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation to promote inner calm which will lessen symptoms of anxiety and promote cardiovascular health.
Exercise is another fundamental element in keeping our heart and mind healthy. People who suffer from anxiety often quit exercising because they find it overwhelming or they are simply physically and mentally exhausted. However, exercise with anxiety is an excellent way of promoting relaxation, inner calm and decreasing feelings of anxiety.
Getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet is also important. Regular and sufficient sleep is essential for the proper functioning of all bodily systems. Aim for at least 8 hours every night. A balanced diet that mainly features wholesome fruits, vegetables, and lean meats will encourage restful sleep and systemic balance.
Certain medications and stimulants should also be avoided. Caffeinated beverages and over-the-counter diet pills often feature harsh stimulants that can worsen your symptoms. The same caution should be practiced with cough and cold medicines containing decongestants.
Finally, put your mind to it. Your mood can make a huge difference on the frequency and severity of anxiety symptoms you experience. As the Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them.".
A holistic approach to healing recognizes that the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical elements of each person comprise a system that is greater than its individual parts. This approach attempts to treat the whole person, concentrating on the cause of the illness as well as symptoms.
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Inese Millere