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Though virtually everyone experiences stress, but can stress be self imposed?

I bet: plenty of stress comes from self sabotage! Most of the ways that we self sabotage are unconscious though. The characteristics that come into play are those that Carl Jung referred to when he spoke of our 'shadow' - the enemy inside your head in the form negative self talk.

Take Action:

Start by paying attention to your styles of self sabotage. We are so used to our self-sabotaging thoughts that they have become unconscious part of us and we need to start consciously paying attention in order to ‘catch’ them. It would take some time. Please be patient with yourself.

Once you become aware of these otherwise unconscious thoughts, you have the opportunity to challenge them.

There are several styles of self sabotage:

Blaming
This method of self sabotage is pretty self explanatory. You believe that your circumstances are not your fault. Whilst it's possible that there is some degree of truth in this, blaming leaves you feeling powerless. Blaming often goes hand in hand with a 'victim' mentality which is equally disempowering. Ultimately, you are the only person who has the ability to change your stressful situation. When you begin to take responsibility, you feel better about yourself and more in control of your life.

Likely self talk: 'I can't help it'; 'It's their fault'; 'Things are just really hard for me'.

Procrastination
How many times do you repeatedly put off an unpleasant task? The most common are tidying your desk/wardrobe/garage, getting your finances in order, starting an exercise program or a healthy eating regime. Procrastination is a very popular method of self sabotage.

Likely self talk: 'I don't have the time'; 'I'm too tired'; 'The time isn't right'.

Over Committing/Overwhelm

Many people over commit themselves. They say yes to everything and then find themselves feeling completely overwhelmed (and quite often resentful). This method of self sabotage often helps you to avoid your 'real' goals (the ones that would bring you the most fulfillment if you were brave enough to pursue them) by distracting you with a range of incidental activities.

Likely self talk: 'They need me - I can't say no'; 'I'm the only one who will do the job well'; 'I just like to stay busy'.

Lack of Self Belief

This is quite possibly the most popular method of all. Like all others, it is also a self fulfilling prophecy. The less you believe in yourself, the less likely you are to take on new challenges and the more likely you are to believe you are unworthy of great things.

Likely self talk: 'I'm not good enough'; 'No one will want me'; 'I'm too tall; too short; too heavy; too unattractive; not interesting or not smart enough'.

Unclear Goals/Lack of Direction

This is a difficult area to tackle as it generally presents as an overall sense of confusion. Not being clear about what you want in life is often connected to not wanting to make the wrong choices.

Likely self talk: 'I don't know what I want'; 'Nothing interests me'; 'What if I get it wrong?'.

With all of the above methods of self sabotage, the first step is to notice your dominant style. Most of us use more than one so begin by just becoming aware of your self talk.

When you feel ready to challenge your thinking, find a way to reframe your original thought, for example 'I'm not good enough' could become 'I'm as good as I need to be to give this a go'.

 Finding it difficult to stop self sabotaging on your own? Coaching helps…….

Almost every minute of your conscious life you are engaging in self-talk, your internal thought language. If the self-talk is accurate and in touch with reality, you function well. If it is irrational and untrue, you experience stress and emotional disturbance.

There is a system developed by Albert Ellis to attack irrational ideas or believes and replace them with realistic statements. The basic thesis is that emotions have nothing to do with actual events. Between the emotion and the event is realistic or unrealistic self-talk. The self-talk produces the emotions. Your own thoughts, directed and controlled by you, are what creates stress, anxiety, fear, depression, damages health and affect performance.

What this means: we people have a choice to think in the negative or positive way. It’s up to everybody to choose one or another option. To make choices is an active process in which our will is involved. You have to be willing to change something if you consider that something is wrong with our life.

Take Action:

- Develop “I can” attitude instead of “I cannot”.

- Admit into our mind thoughts, words and images that are conductive to growth, expansion and success.

- Expect of good and favourable results.

- Focus on our strengths. Use them as a lever for success.

- Look for new opportunities also in stressful situations, and seek out for positive to make changes.m

- Spend less time thinking negatively and predicting the negative outcome and more what can be done about and in the situation.

- Try not to be a perfectionist; be merciful and thankful about self.

- Forgive yourself and others.

- Take things less seriously and learn to laugh, and develop a sense of humour.

- Try some reframing about the negative situations; the outcome can be really surprising. (The key to reframing is to recognize that there are many ways to interpret the same situation, not only negative but also in many times – positive.)

- Stop rushing for noticing beauty around.

- Concede some time to enjoy own success, and be less demanding.

- Remind yourself, time to time, that you are not the general manager of universe, and it’s not your responsibility to responsible for all things and people around.

- Start practicing positive affirmations.

- Use visualization, because you need to ‘see’ positive things already happening and they will.

In order to turn the mind toward the positive, knowledge and training are necessary.

Attitude and thoughts do not change overnight. It does not matter what your circumstances are at the present moment. It may take some time for the changes to take place, but eventually they do.

Want to shorten the learning curve ?

Contact me at info@action4balance.com or learn how stress management coach can help you,

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I am sure that you have heard about the important connection between mental and physical health. But do you fully understand the relationship your organs have with your state of mind? Research is showing how physiological reactions to stress and anxiety can take a huge toll on our hearts.

When we experience symptoms of anxiety, what we feel is the body’s preparation to face danger. Elevated heart rate, high blood pressure and the release of stress hormones into the blood are normal reactions that occur in our bodies when faced with stressful situations and anxiety.

Some of the most common symptoms of anxiety can have a negative impact on the heart, including palpitations, tremors and insomnia. Whatever the cause for anxiety may be, there are steps we can take to improve our quality of life.

Take Action:

Relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and muscle relaxation to promote inner calm which will lessen symptoms of anxiety and promote cardiovascular health.

Exercise is another fundamental element in keeping our heart and mind healthy. People who suffer from anxiety often quit exercising because they find it overwhelming or they are simply physically and mentally exhausted. However, exercise with anxiety is an excellent way of promoting relaxation, inner calm and decreasing feelings of anxiety.

Getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet is also important. Regular and sufficient sleep is essential for the proper functioning of all bodily systems. Aim for at least 8 hours every night. A balanced diet that mainly features wholesome fruits, vegetables, and lean meats will encourage restful sleep and systemic balance.

Certain medications and stimulants should also be avoided. Caffeinated beverages and over-the-counter diet pills often feature harsh stimulants that can worsen your symptoms. The same caution should be practiced with cough and cold medicines containing decongestants.

Finally, put your mind to it. Your mood can make a huge difference on the frequency and severity of anxiety symptoms you experience. As the Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them.".

A holistic approach to healing recognizes that the emotional, mental, spiritual and physical elements of each person comprise a system that is greater than its individual parts. This approach attempts to treat the whole person, concentrating on the cause of the illness as well as symptoms.

However, too much stress, or a strong response to stress, is harmful. It can set us up for general poor health as well as a specific physical or psychological illnesses like infections, heart disease, or depression. Persistent and unrelenting stress often leads to anxiety and an unhealthy lifestyle. Anxiety is perhaps one of the most common emotions experienced when a person is stressed. Anxiety is a form of stress that we all want to avoid.

The lives of the majority of female entrepreneurs today are out of balance. And this imbalance is a reasonable source of stress. And stress feeds anxiety. And anxiety feeds stress.

Let's look at an example of how stress overload and lifestyle factors can contribute to anxiety.

You are entrepreneur and you work 70 hours a week for several years. This puts excessive stress on your body. To make matters worse, you are so busy working that you only manages to get five or six hours of sleep a night, you do not exercise regularly, and you eat mainly fast food. You cant even remember the last time you took time out for yourself.

Sounds familiar?

Your lifestyle creates stress in your life and produces a negative snowball effect.

Over time your body starts perceiving these constant stressors as a threat to your survival. Your body eventually gets "burned out" from repeated unnecessary stress reactions. It is on a constant state of alert - contributing to the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety.

Can You change it? Yes.

You have the power to reduce or eliminate many of the stressors in your life.

How ?

Take Action:

First step - setting up the basics. Integrating healthy lifestyle habits into your busy life - by making choices that promote calmness, self-care, and a balanced lifestyle:

- Sleep eight hours a night instead of six (You could find useful to support healthy sleep patterns with soothing relaxing music and natural remedies ).

- Eat well-balanced, healthy meals.

- Work 40-50 hours a week instead of 70.

 - Learn to view stressors in a less anxious way so your body does not overreact to stressors when they occur.

I know it's tough to think about exercising when anxiety symptoms drag you down. I used to feel the same way. I didn't feel like I could even stand up sometimes, let alone exercise.

But, was I surprised to discover that exercise made a dramatic difference for me!

Did you know that exercise has these proven anxiety-reducing benefits?

Exercise has been proven to improve your mood; "burn off" stress; change the body's long-term automatic stress response, making you react more calmly with less false alarms of the fight or flight response; relaxes your muscles; and increases your sense of self control.

When you're getting started with exercise decide on a length of time that feels very do-able to you - whether it's ten seconds, one minute, or ten minutes.

Don't worry if you think it's not long enough to get much benefit. Creating an easily achievable goal is what counts when you're getting started because then you are more likely to stick with it.

Take Action:

- Start gradually if your symptoms are intense - even one or two minutes of walking in your house a few times a day is a great start! You'll be surprised how quickly you can build from there to create a habit of regular aerobic exercise and reap dramatic benefits.

- Find a buddy! I find it much easer rather then do it by myself esecially when anxious.

- In case you cant find one I suggest Get your personal trainer. You'll never workout alone again!

Believe me, You Can Do It!

Need stress management coach support? Drop me a line at info@action4balance.com  

„ Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.”

NEVER...Worries waste valuable time and energy; they drain you.

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It's as if we breathe in a world where fear has become the new oxygen.

The sources of fear include:

- social settings,

- being alone,

- losing a job,

- public speaking,

- heights,

- flying,

- illness,

- death.

The symptoms of fear (stress symptoms) seriously drain the mind, the body, and the spirit, and in many cases lead to serious illness. If not dealt with fear can become so strong that it manifests itself in the form of a panic attack or a phobia.

Take Action:

• Learn to meditate by quieting the mind
• Try Bach Flower Remedies
• Change negative thoughts
• Practice deep breathing
• Consider relaxation and calming supplements